Photo by D3 San Francisco
The last month has been particularly busy for me. Work events have meant that I have had to work many more hours than I usually do. In the past, when such times in my life have crept up, I know that I would compensate by buying more convenience foods and buying housework/gardening services. Those times were certainly not simple, green or frugal!
And while I admit, I have bought *some* convenience foods this last month, I have not been as wasteful this time round...only because I am finally starting to do one of the hardest things I ever had to do - I'm finally asking for help.
Independence is highly valued in our world. We admire those who seem to be able to do it all - seemingly without help. But as I strive to simplify my life, I am realising that this "independence" is coming at a cost - literally. Not asking for help means that we shift our dependence from people to corporations and unsustainable practices. Not asking for help means that my money is being used to create the facade of independence and in some ways creates even more pressure for me to work even more to maintain this facade.
I also find it difficult to ask for help, as one feels not only "dependent" but also "obligated". I know this is something that I struggle with constantly. When I wrote about this issue in my personal blog, a reader there gave me a wonderful piece of advice: "Allow people the privelege of helping you." Asking for help does not have to be an obligation but a gift. I know that I often feel flattered and useful when I help others, so it is time to give that gift back!
A couple of weeks ago, I threw a hedge-trimming party. I have a very very big and very long hedge that serves as the fence. Its an awful job keeping it under control. It takes approximately 2 solid days to do it by myself....or $1,200 (AUD) to pay someone to do it. I finally swallowed my pride and asked my friends and neighbours to help me. I asked my friends and workmates if I could borrow their equipment - hedge trimmers, ladders, extension cords etc. Between 6 of us, we managed to trim my hedge in only 1.5 hours. Not only did we get the job done, but we had so much fun chatting and afterwards, eating together.
Another benefit of asking for help is that it does help build and strengthen my community. Where I live, many of my neighbours and friends have very different ideas and views from me. They are not necessarily commited to a simple or green path. However, what we do have in common are shared experiences that comes from living near each other, going to school together or having children who play together. Asking for help to keep my garden neat was a good way for my community to come together for a common purpose and gave us all a good basis to break through our very different views. I have learnt that there is joy to be found in learning how to build a supportive community with people who are very different from me.
As I write this post, I am sipping a cup of tea and looking out towards my garden and my trimmed hedge. And for the first time in my life, I am happy to finally acknowledge: "I am dependent on others".
I hope you have had a wonderful weekend.