Our son turned three this week. Much joy, much cake, many sweeties...even more toys! We have always aimed for a minimalist toy box, having thorough clear outs every few months as new things come in. What we do buy is usually second hand. An army of friends and relatives are on hand to express their love with the latest new novelty toys and games. Unfortunately, very little stands the test of time - lack of interest or initial over enthusiasm usually consigns many toys to the charity shop or dustbin. For this reason, we rarely buy toys ourselves, reserving that money for experiences.
As we are sorting the toy box yet again, we are deciding what to keep for his three month old sister. She has already been bought toys of her own, which she is currently showing zero interest in. But then why would she? She has many faces to learn to recognise and the antics of her parents, brother and pet cats to amuse her.
As I was finding space for all the new bits and pieces that came into our home this week, I noticed the set of stacking cups I had placed on the mantelpiece. We bought these from a charity shop when our son was just 6 months old. At first they were brightly coloured objects to look at and manipulate. Gradually he learnt to build the tower and to stack them inside each other once again. Then he used them to hide things under. Then to serve us pretend cups of tea. Then they became pretend hooves to clip-clop around the room. Just last week he had one of them in the bath to slop water and to rinse away the shampoo. These will be keepers for his sister.
The belief that children need dedicated plastic play props for every imaginative scenario - play kitchens, shops, stables, beauty salons and space ships - is not founded in evidence, but by advertising budgets running into the hundreds of millions. Pretend play is good, but then pretending is the fun of it, and rooms full of dedicated props distract from that.
Some things don't need to be pretend anyway - our son doesn' t pretend to sweep, I actually let him sweep with our dustpan and brush. We also bake together, he watches me cook and when he was younger he played with our actual pots and pans and utensils. Imagination can be left for the things we can't actually do - adventure on the high seas, for example. Getting out of doors, running around, exploring and collecting things is also essential to our children's - and our own - well being. It is free and costs the earth nothing.
There are a few things other than the cups that have stood the test of time, that are still being played with and will be kept for our daughter. A lot more will be given away. Occasionally I feel that we are being stingy (usually when I have been told as much by loved ones who are buying lavish toys). Resist that feeling at all costs, especially in the face of opposition. I have realised now that exposing my son to an endless stream of influences that suggest to him that his life is somehow lacking will only make him dissatisfied and me feel like a terrible parent. We avoid supermarkets and toy shops, we watch DVDs not television, so as to limit our exposure to advertising - and now we are beginning the task of explaining how precious our time, our money and our environment is - far too precious to waste on throw away possessions.The best gift we can give our children is the knowledge that happiness cannot be built on a rising mountain of possessions.
What toys have given you the best value for money? How do you pass on your material values to your children?
20 comments:
Fewer?
I have to completely agree! We limit our toys to what fits in the toy box, and then we purge when we have too many. I haven't found any issues with getting rid of the toys yet (my daughter is 3 1/2, son 15 months). I have to say that she is most enamored with the couple of toys we have made for her, a knit doll I made, and a play kitchen that her dad made which sits in our kitchen. As for my son, he has no interest in any of the toys, except the doll, and all of my bowls, pots and pans. They both regularly hide in the corner cupboard with the bowls and just bang to their heart's content :-)
The one toy that my boys got that stood the test of time was Legos. Like you my kids got alot of toys when they were young and the Legos are the only toy that is still in our house even though they are grown up. It was even the Lego Mindstorms kit the defined my oldest's career path. He he has a degree in physics and builds robots.
Nodding my head over here too, Aurora. Less is more, as the saying goes, when it comes to toys.
We are the same with TV - only dvds or non-commercial ABCTV epidodes online.
I have a 14-yr-old and two little ones aged 4 and 22months and we have kept some "heirloom" wooden toys that have been used by all three. These are wooden play house and barn, wooden rocking horse, wooden blocks and a few "babies and dolls". We also have a small play stove, but, like you, most of our kitchen/cooking play is done in the real kitchen using real utensils and pots and pans.
My big problem is culling the soft toys that somehow creep in - often picked up at thrift stores or given by relatives. There's way too many of those and they drive me batty! But my 4-yr-old gets very attached to them, so I have a battle on my hands removing them :)
Great post.
x
Great post. I have had near-panic-attacks seeing the avalanche of cheap plastic toys enter our house since having kids, although of course they are given with the best of intentions. I dread the influx of presents with each birthday and Christmas, and especially birthday parties. After the initial excitement it adds up to little more than clutter and pollution - so depressing.
Probably the best-loved toys/playthings in our home have been a number of beloved soft toys, followed by an indoor play tent, nesting cups in the shower or bath and dress-ups. I guess it's the things that encourage sustained, imaginative play. And then there's the drawing and making things.
I'd love to know how to make it socially acceptable to say 'no presents please' for your own kids, without sounding totally ungrateful or mean!
Great post!
We struggle with this too, as my husband is still a big kid and loves his toys. So he'll suggest things that our son would love (read, he would've loved), i try to stall him and since he hates shopping (and I never go), it never happens and the phase is past! We are well overdue for a clean up though, our toy baskets too are full at the moment - a lot of it being hand me downs from friends.
Our best toys? Like you, stacking buckets from tupperware (good for beach and bath), our train wooden train set then adding a few Thomas train characters - loved, loved, loved, and a random Fisher Price ball swirl thing that makes noise - he learned to stand at it and yet still plays with it regularly enough more than 2 yrs later.
Agree! Agree! I never have to buy my children toys they get plenty from relatives. I will say the most played with toys by the boys and girls in my house are little green army men, a plain wooden kitchen with a tea set, a plain wooden dollhouse, our second set of matroyshka (sp?) dolls (the first was destroyed from so much use) and thomas the train. Last but not least our actual pots and pans and the dust buster)
I get overwhelmed with the amount of toys my Dolly has. Gifts just keep on coming in.
I read a really good article earlier this year about the amount of plastic in our lives and the toxins we absorb from them. Look at all the toys our children play with - overwhelmingly plastic. In the bath, in the lounge room, in the bed and even at school. Plastic Plastic Plastic - not so Fantastic.
Best toys in our fifteen years of children: scarves. Being a tie-dyeing family, we bought white cotton gauze scarves and dyed them across the rainbow - jumbo 3x6 and standard 3x3. They have become clothing of course for simple-to-elaborate costumes; they get taped to walls and shelves for backdrops, tents; spread out on the floor to make swimming pools, farms; hung from the ceiling as rain; and a thousand other things over the years. They are incorporated into almost every game that gets played here (plus we use them to wrap birthday and holiday presents!).
The avalanche is still a problem, and my older children have serious issues with retiring or donating anything, even my almost-16yo who hardly plays at all now (wondered when that day would come) unless she is actively devoting time to her younger sibs. It's a fine line between maintaining your own principles, and insisting other people (like grandparents) behave according to your wishes and not their own...
One thing I've learned 8 months into parenthood is that (as long as there's no little chokable peices) ignore the age recommendations. My 8 month olds favorite toy is one of those maze toys where you move the beads around bent wires. It's "recommended" for 3 years old and up. It's gone from something bright to look at, to something to chew on and discover different shapes and textures to (just recently) a discovery that he can move the beads around himself. He has a few other things that are "meant" for older children and I don't care if the peices are just chew toys now, eventually they will get used from their original purpose and then probably something more - I'm definitely getting my thrift store dollars worth out of them!
p.s. we also keep toy boxes - he doesn't have his own room yet, so we keep a 3 baskets in the living room - one of books, one for soft toys and blankets and one for the the harder things. We then have a smaller basket that we rotate his things in so that he has a new "discovery basket" to search through everyday - so far he's perfectly happy to rediscover his toys every couple days.
My 16 month old loves her set of stacking cups too! She was given them at Christmas when she was 6 months old and has enjoyed playing with them ever since. Her other favourite things are crayons and bubbles.I'm currently trying to figure out what we could get her for Christmas that she would enjoy as much...
I'm very lucky with this on my side of the family because we are all about practical gifts and books. My husband's family is a different story and last year was over the top, even for them. SO MUCH plastic. Some of it, we set in a cupboard and if D doesn't specifically ask, "Hey, where's that ___ auntie gave me" within a few weeeks, it goes off to Goodwill still in the packaging.
The best value for money toys- marbles, matchbox cars, lego, wooden train set that can be built in lots of different ways, balls (tennis, basketball, soccer, football, beach ball), cricket bat, tennis racket, bikes, scooters. I have two boys - 11 and 13 years old. I totally agree with your comments.
Our little boy is only 5 months old, so he's not so much into toys. So far, I've purchased 3 small chew toys... at about $3. Everything else has been given to him/us. We've decided we won't buy toys for him, as he has grandparents who will do that.
Toys are a big problem here - an end of year cull is coming up soon. To Jane though, who asked about how to tell people "no presents" I haven't found a way to do that, but I did manage to direct the presents... for my daughters birthday, I sent an email saying that as there would be a lot of children and presents if people feel they need to buy a present, DD's interests are craft and cooking as well as books. I found we ended up with a lot more usuable crafty type toys as well as a couple of kids cookbooks which she loved. Worked for us.
By all means, stay away from those video games as long as you can! They are addictive. That is all my grandson has ever wanted to do.
I remember, with my nephews, how much fun they had with an empty cardboard box my parents had left when they bought their refrigerator. I was 6 years older than them and when they'd come to visit we'd pole jump and play catch and ride bikes. Boys love to throw things so the old basketball hoop on the barn got a good workout.
I definitely agree! I'm slowly removing toys from the toybox. My 2 - 22 month olds don't miss anything unless they see me putting it away. I've found that the fewer toys in the room the more my girls can keep themselves entertained.
I wish giving used toys would be more accepted. Less impact on the Earth. Play with it for a week and pass it along. Less money spent but same amount of joy for the child.
Far and away the best "toys" that have seen the most use here have been the "dress up" clothes. Those include old Halloween costumes, my castoffs, Grammu's castoffs, and stuff they created themselves out of old scarves and blankets and my quilting scraps.
Xa Lynn
Thank you for all your comments.
Yes, fewer would have been better, This Brokedown Life.
It seems a recurring theme is getting other people to understand your tolerance for toy clutter and the actual needs and wants of your children. If anyone has a solution to that, I am all ears!
Post a Comment